Life of a Pumpkin

Sorry for the late posting, but please consider this a revival of my old Friday Madness series.

Tuesday Madness 10/16/07 : Suicide Dream

Friday Madness 4/27/07: Log riding

(via Brian Flemming)

Friday Madness 4/20/07: The Day They Kicked God out of the Schools

It looks like this asshat has figured out the root cause behind all school shootings.

Sunday Madness 4/15/07: Masochism Tango

I was first introduced to Tom Lehrer through Dr. Demento. Here's a hilarious animated video of the Masochism Tango. (via Ed Brayton)

Friday Madness 4/6/07: End Of The Line

Some people go to film festivals and act like a kid in a candy store. I understand that, but I'm not a huge cinema buff. I like movies, but I rarely go to the movies (and I almost never watch TV). So when a film festival comes to my home town, I try to see some of the films. Tonight I'm going to see The Curse of William Penn, and tomorrow night it will be End of the Line.



It appears to be a standard George Romero type horror film, except that instead of brain eating zombies, we have religious fundies intent on either converting or killing you.

Could this be Armageddon? I don't know, but it sure sounds like a fun movie.

Friday Madness 3/30/07: MC Rove

I'm not sure what to say about this. I personally find the trollish little dancing marshmallow to be vile and repulsive. I'll give him some credit for having the temperament to make fun of himself ... but he even screwed that up! ("I rip the tops off small animals." Tops???)

Sunday Madness 3/25/07: Techno-weirdness

Okay, I'm not the biggest fan of German techno-pop, but this video by Deichkind is just plain fun (in a disturbing sort of way). {via Brian Flemming}

Friday Madness 3/16/07 : Gospel Music or Death!

Yesterday at a New Jersey Turnpike rest stop, a 75 year old human rights activist was murdered by a "Humble" man.

Michail J. Makarenko, 75, a Hillsboro resident and former political prisoner, was pronounced dead about 30 minutes after the attack at a rest stop near the southern end of the New Jersey Turnpike, a state police spokesman said.

...

Makarenko and a friend were on their way to New York to meet other friends when they pulled over about 1 a.m. to use the bathroom, said the friend, Gregory Burnside, who was Makarenko's interpreter and personal secretary.

"I went to eat, and when I finished, maybe five or ten minutes later, he wasn't in the car," Burnside said. "Then I saw someone was on the ground. I got closer, and it was him. His head had been bashed in by a rock. I just did the sign of the cross over him, recited the Lord's Prayer and told him to hang in there."

But about a half-hour later, despite the efforts of paramedics, Makarenko died, Burnside said.

Makarenko had lived in the United States since 1979, when he was exiled by the Soviet government for his repeated dissident activities, according to an article in the Russian magazine Glasnost provided by Burnside.

Among his crimes were running an avant-garde art gallery and engaging in union organizing. He served a total of 11 years in prison. His longest term, eight years, was for anti-Soviet agitation, Burnside said. While in prison, he continued his activism, working for prisoners' rights, the article said.

Since coming to the United States, Makarenko had been a writer and lecturer, Burnside said. He testified before Congress about slavery in the Soviet Union and at the time of his death was gathering material for his autobiography, he said.

"He was an important dissident," Burnside said. "He fought for human rights and resisted communism every way he could."

What kind of a monster would kill an old man: a Russian dissident and human rights activist? One of Putin's Polonium hitmen? Not quite.

Authorities said Brian K. White, 26, of Humble, Tex., approached Makarenko to sell him a Christian music CD. When Makarenko declined, witnesses said, White struck Makarenko on the head with a landscaping rock. White climbed into his 1984 Chevy Camaro and fled northbound on the turnpike.

I can't help but think that there must be more to the story than just retaliation for not buying his Christian music. But in this mad world ...

Saturday Madness 3/10/07: Scotty's birthplace honored!

Sorry I'm a day late with my madness post, but I've been feeling rather sick of late. And furthermore, I've been having problems with blogger. About three days ago, my SiteMeter stopped working. I upgraded my blogger template, I put in all the correct code, and it still doesn't work. I don't need this right now.

Anyhoo, it seems the Scottish town of Linlithgow is building a memorial to Scotty from Star Trek (since that's where the fictional character was born). I kid you not.

A Scottish town is to set up a Star Trek memorial to celebrate its claim to the fictional birthplace of Scotty the engineer.

Ironically, the scheme - at Linlithgow - has been given the go-ahead by West Lothian's "enterprise committee".

Scotty, aka Montgomery Scott, played by Canadian-born actor James Doohan, is the chief engineer of the Starship Enterprise.

The £10,000 tribute will feature Doohan's original Star Trek costume, personal items donated by his family and a scale model of the famous spaceship.

Committee convener, Coun Willie Dunn, said: "We have made contact with Dorothy C Fontana, who wrote many of the original Star Trek episodes.

"She has confirmed the reference in one of her books about Linlithgow being Montgomery Scott's birthplace.

"Following James Doohan's death, we contacted his family and they are supporting our plans for a Star Trek exhibition at Linlithgow.

"It will be staged in Annet House Museum, which highlights the history of Linlithgow. Now it will also look into the future with our Star Trek display area."

Madness indeed, but might there be sane rationale behind this madness? Perhaps the smell of money?

He added: "The loyalty and dedication of Star Trek fans is quite exceptional.

"We believe our Star Trek exhibition will attract more visitors to Linlithgow and West Lothian. Niche tourism is a major growth area."

I thought so.

UPDATE:



It seems the Madness has spread to Finland.

A Finnish member of parliament is aiming for re-election by campaigning with a translation of his Web site into Klingon, used in the TV series Star Trek.

"Some have thought it is blasphemy to mix politics and Klingon," said Jyrki Kasvi, an ardent Trekkie. "Others say it is good if politicians can laugh at themselves."

He said his politics posed some translation difficulties, since Klingon does not have words for matters such as tolerance, or for many colours, including green -- the party under whose banner he is running in the national elections on March 18.

Non-warriors can also access the site, www.kasvi.org, in English, Swedish and Finnish.

Friday Madness 3/2/07 : Tragic Clown!

Friday Madness 2/23/07 : Yo Quiero Taco Bell!

Perhaps you remember the famous urban legend about the lady who goes to Mexico and comes home with a new pet dog. In case you forgot, here's the rundown from Snopes.

A woman from La Mesa, California, went to Tijuana, Mexico, to do some shopping. As any visitor to this border town knows, the streets near the shopping areas are populated with stray dogs. The woman took pity on one little stray and offered it a few bites of her lunch, after which it followed her around for the rest of the afternoon.

When it came time to return home, the woman had become so attached to her little friend that she couldn't bear to leave him behind. Knowing that it was illegal to bring a dog across the international border, she hid him among some packages on the seat of her car and managed to pass through the border checkpoint without incident. After arriving home, she gave the dog a bath, brushed his fur, then retired for the night with her newfound pet curled up at the foot of her bed.

When she awoke the next morning, the woman noticed that there was an oozing mucus around the dog's eyes and a slight foaming at the mouth. Afraid that the dog might be sick, she rushed him to a nearby veterinarian and returned home to await word on her pet's condition.

The call soon came. "I have just one question," said the vet. "Where did you get this dog?"

The woman didn't want to get into trouble, so she told the vet that she had found the dog running loose in the street near her home in La Mesa.

But the vet didn't buy it. "You did not find this dog in La Mesa. Where did you get the dog?"

The woman nervously admitted having brought the dog across the border from Tijuana. "But tell me, doctor," she said. "What is wrong with my dog?"

His reply was brief and to the point. "First of all, it's not a dog — it's a Mexican sewer rat. And second, it's dying."

Could someone really confuse a Chihuahua with a rat? Could the Taco Bell dog actually be a giant sewer rat? Maybe. Judge for yourself.

Friday Madness 2/16/07 : Valentine Madness!

Saturday Madness 2/3/07: Rael blasphemes!

I know this is the wrong day of the week for this, but I couldn't resist. It seems that Mr. Rael is an ardent atheist and a strong supporter of atheist causes. That's right, Rael the cult leader is against religion. He's all about science. After all, he did clone a human. He even has his own theory of origins which is superior to evolution. Wow!

Anyway, it turns out he has taken the blasphemy challenge. His video is a strange eclectic mix of delusional rantings and heavy sales pitches for his cult and it's associate websites (Warning: Don't watch it if self-serving lunatics make your stomach turn). I tried to leave a comment asking about how the young clone is doing, but Rael is monitoring comments. "Your comment will be posted as soon as it is approved." What do you think are the odds that my comment will ever show up?

Friday Madness 2/2/07 : ¡Soy el estado!

I would like to take a moment to welcome our hemisphere's newest elected dictator. While I'm grateful that he doesn't control a superpower like the United States, it is troubling that he's sitting on top of a lot of oil. His recent attacks on George W. Bush—calling him el diablo—have endeared him to many on the left. Though I have no love for Mr. Bush (an understatement), I emphatically disavow any and all Chavez apologists.

Back in July, The Progressive published a March 28th interview of Chavez by Greg Palast. The very first question says it all.

Q: Your opponents are saying that you are beginning a slow-motion dictatorship. Is that what we are seeing?

Hugo Chávez: They have been saying that for a long time. When they’re short of ideas, any excuse will do as a vehicle for lies. That is totally false. I would like to invite the citizens of Great Britain and the citizens of the U.S. and the citizens of the world to come here and walk freely through the streets of Venezuela, to talk to anyone they want, to watch television, to read the papers. We are building a true democracy, with human rights for everyone, social rights, education, health care, pensions, social security, and jobs.

His responses throughout the interview showed a remarkable consistency in their level of honesty. But let's see, how honest was he in his first response? According to Dictionary.com,

dic·ta·tor
–noun
1. a person exercising absolute power, esp. a ruler who has absolute, unrestricted control in a government without hereditary succession.

I can't help but notice that the definition says nothing about democracy or human rights. It only talks about absolute power and non-hereditary succession. Certainly, as yet, Venezuela has no hereditary succession. But does Chavez have absolute power?

Venezuela's Chavez takes sweeping powers

The new law -- which Chavez has dubbed the "mother of all laws" -- gives him the power to transform state institutions in 11 key sectors, including the economy, the military, transportation, security and oil.

The measure giving him power to rule by decree was approved Wednesday by the entirely pro-Chavez National Assembly.

Gee, sound like a dictatorship to me. My favorite part of it all is this choice quote:

"We are going to enact it with a red ink and from today it will be in effect -- in the name of God and the revolution," Chavez told a news conference, referring to his signature Socialist color.

He's invoking both Marx AND God! Damn, that's sweet. Although he really should've signed it in heavy crude—after all, oil money is the opiate of the masses.

Friday Madness 1/26/07 : Speaking In Tongues

A while back, Andrew Newberg, MD, Associate Professor of Radiology, Psychiatry, and Religious Studies, and Director for the Center for Spirituality and the Mind, at the University of Pennsylvania, did a study where he looked at brain scans (SPECT) of people experiencing glossolalia (speaking in tongues). This is the same Dr. Newberg who earlier did a SPECT study to see if meditation helped patients with early symptoms of Alzheimer's Disease.

I was intrigued by both those studies when I first read about them, but was disappointed when I saw the details. They reminded me of a Johns Hopkins study where researchers showed that "magic mushrooms" created a mystical experience (I had a lot of fun with that one on a previous post.) None of these studies actually showed anything. They didn't have proper controls. They weren't rigorously testing hypotheses. It seemed to me all they were doing was trying to find evidence for God so they could win the Templton Prize.

P.Z. Myers at Pharyngula gave Newberg a real "bitch-slapping" when he looked at the study. He explains the flaws much better than I can. In fact, I thought there was nothing more to say on the subject. That is, until I saw this debunking video made by (18 year old) Emily.

Friday Madness 1/19/07: Locura en español

¿De donde acaba el genio, a donde empieza el loco?
Asi pregunta Mecano sobre "Eugenio" Salvador Dalí.

Dali se desdibuja
Tirita su burbuja
Al descontar latidos

Dali se decolora
Porque esta lavadora
No distingue tejidos

El se da cuenta y asustado se lamenta
Los genios no deben morir
Son mas de ochenta los que curvan tu osamenta
"Eugenio" Salvador Dali

Bigote rocococo
De donde acaba el genio
A donde empieza el loco

Mirada deslumbrada
De donde acaba el loco
A donde empieza el hada

En tu cabeza se comprime la belleza
Como si fuese una olla express
Y es el vapor que va saliendo por la pesa
Magica luz en Cadaques

Si te reencarnas en cosa
Hazlo en lapiz o en pincel
Y Gala de piel sedosa
Que lo haga en lienzo o en papel

Y si reencarnas en carne
Vuelve a reencarnarte en ti
Que andamos justos de genios
"Eugenio" Salvador Dali

Realista y surrealista
Con luz de impresionista
Y trazo impresionante

Delirio colorista
Colirio y oculista
De ojos delirantes

En tu paleta mezclas misticos ascetas
Con bayonetas y con tetas
Y en tu cerebro Gala Dios y las pesetas
Buen catalan anacoreta

Si te reencarnas en cosa
Hazlo en lapiz o en pincel
Y Gala de piel sedosa
Que lo haga en lienzo o en papel

Y si reencarnas en carne
Vuelve a reencarnarte en ti
Queremos genios en vida
Queremos que estes aqui,
"Eugenio" Salvador Dali.

Friday Madness 1/12/07 : The Surge

I'm back from my vacation now. Expect a blog about it soon (perhaps with a little primer on The Physics of Sailing).

Anyhoo, our pertinacious leader has made my choice for Friday Madness topic really easy: the proposed surge... did I say surge? I meant escalation. So in an effort to keep my blood pressure down, I'll just post a video.

WARNING: Contains Graffic Images!

Friday Madness 12/29/06 : Maison de fous...

How do you know when you're going mad?

Seeing dancing skeletons and creepy dolls might be a clue.

Friday Madness 12/22/06 : Skullcrusher Mountain

Last weekend I went to see Jonathan Coulton at the Milkboy café in Ardmore, PA.

Jonathan Coulton quit his job as a software engineer a little over a year ago in order to make music. When he didn't get a record contract right away, he started his "Thing a Week" project, where he came out with a new song every week for a year and podcast it for free under the Creative Commons license. Jen from A Thousand Times No interviewed him before the concert. You can listen to it here.

I watched some of his concert footage on YouTube, and in one show he said that he knew he was in the right place when a group held up their stuffed monkeys (a recurent theme in many of his songs). Right away I thought about how I could top that. Since I'm a fan of fractals, I decided to do something for his song Mandelbrot Set.



I generated a Mandelbrot Set image on my computer and had it printed poster size. I actually took a couple of pictures of Jonathan holding the poster I made, but alas, my P.O.S. camera screwed up and blurred the pictures by leaving the shutter open too long. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to wait until the next time he's in town. He did aknowledge me when he played Mandelbrot Set. He said "That gentleman holding the Mandelbrot Set poster has been following me around for a while. It's starting to get creepy!" He may have thought that he was just making a joke, but little does he know about my devious plan. It starts with stalking a singer/songwright, and finishes with world domination. BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Speaking of which--What does a Mad Scientist give his girlfriend for Christmas? The answer is: probably not what she wants. According to a new study, couples tend to give each other the wrong gift.

· Almost half of all lovers are worse at predicting their partner's heart's desire than a stranger who simply uses average gender-specific preferences.

· In addition, the more you know about your inamorata, the worse your success rate is likely to get.

These cheerful holiday tidings are brought to you by "Why It Is So Hard to Predict Our Partner's Product Preferences: The Effect of Target Familiarity on Prediction Accuracy," in the December issue of the scholarly Journal of Consumer Research, published by the University of Chicago Press

And there's more to it than the cliché of getting your partner the gift that YOU want. (although that's a big part of it) In the article they talked about one guy who got is partner a bathroom scale as a gift. I imagine that his thought process must have been something like "Well she's always talking about her weight. I bet she'd really like a fancy new scale.

But what does any of this have to do with mad scientists or Jonathan Coulton, you ask? It's the JoCo song Skullcrusher Mountain. The song is about an evil-genius/super-villian who falls in love with the girl he's holding captive. My kind of guy! In the song, the protaganist is surprised when his beloved doesn't like the gift he got her.

I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
But I get the feeling that you don’t like it
What’s with all the screaming?
You like monkeys, you like ponies
Maybe you don’t like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many monkeys
Isn’t it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?

You might think that he's crazy for thinking that she would like such a monstrous gift. But the truth is that he was acting no diferently than any "sane" person would. It's just that for him, a grotesque chimera is the ideal for a gift. Perhaps that makes him a tad crazy--just a tad.

With that I leave you with (from Xalen)